"As I approach my 59th year I would love to free share some of the life lessons I have learnt in my 58 years, most of which I wish I had discovered in my twenties
1. You’re allowed 5 emotional minutes a day then you have to be gangsta!
(Not a real one, just own the attitude). Wallow, bitch, judge, gossip for only 5 minutes a day, once you’ve used up this time, that’s it. Get your positive pants on and crack on!
2. Watch out who you hang around with, winners surround themselves with successful people.
You become what your circle is - there’s some truth in what Solomon wrote in Proverbs (13:20) “He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.” In other words, show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.
Walk away from the drama or join the cast, negative moaning people will drain you and it’s too easy to get caught up with it all. Don’t be a drama llama!
3. Know your worth then add tax, and shipping.
Customers are paying for your expertise learnt over years. Learn to walk away if something doesn’t feel right. Never overrule your gut and be careful about how much free work you do, free work doesn’t pay your bills, no matter how much exposure you are promised. Only do free work if it makes your heart sing and benefits you, if not - charge full price.
As Marie Forleo says: ‘If someone asks you for something, and it’s in some type of professional setting, you have every right to ask to be paid’ (taken from Marie Forleo’s Know Your Worth talk)
4. - Time goes so fast, the older you get the faster it goes.
If I could give you one nugget of wisdom, I would say -Buy time, use an ironing service or hire a cleaner. If you can earn £20 an hour and you’re only paying cleaner £10 an hour, why clean? If you have to clean, then make it easier for yourself! Check out the TOMM (The Organised Mum Method) Cleaning Method on Facebook and Instagram, it’s a way to clean that frees up your weekends and can easily be adapted to suit your own needs. Buy expertise, professionals such as Accountants and Solicitors, this frees you up to do what you do best. Your time = money too. You’re not butter you can’t spread yourself that thin.
5. - People will love you; people will hate you, and it’s nothing to do with you.
What other people think of you is none of your business. This is one of the most enlightening things you can ever realise. Don’t do things or buy stuff to impress people you don’t even like - you’re not chocolate you can’t please everyone.
A tip I can give you, get yourself a (virtual) ‘weird box’ to pop people into that you can’t fathom out or understand, don’t waste your precious time even trying, as its out of your control.
6. - Realise what is in your circle of influence.
There’s absolutely no point worrying about things that are outside of your circle of influence, as the only things you can control are your words, behaviour and actions.
7. All the money in the world can’t buy you health.
Look after your mental health as well as your physical health. As Steve Jobs said “you can’t pay someone to lie on your deathbed for you”.
Be kind. Be happy. If you want to be happy, stop doing the things that make you unhappy, it sounds so simple - change your job, move house, stop seeing ‘friends’. Your friends are supposed to make you feel good, do they?
Harvard Study of Adult Development is one of the longest running studies on happiness, dating back to the 1930’s. The study found that as people get older they focus more on what’s important to them and don’t sweat the small stuff like they did when they were younger.
My thoughts on this are - pick your battles…does it matter if you have pizza takeaway instead of a Chinese? You still get fed. So what if your toddler wants to wear wellies to a Christmas party with a frilly dress? (past experience) Who says that this is wrong?
A massive realisation for me is that you can ‘choose to be right or choose to be happy’, this is huge - you can insist on being right, taking the moral high ground and be miserable, or you can let it go and be happy. According to the Harvard Study, older adults are better at letting go of past failures.
A great way to put this into practice (especially with something you can’t let go) is to use the phrase “What am I like?”
“What am I like letting the fact that someone queue jumped me in Tesco bother me, or I got a parking ticket, or someone cut me up on a roundabout?” This works really well when you keep going over and over an annoying event in your head, get into this habit for a more content life.
The above is only a snapshot as I have been invited to speak at the Women’s Society April Events where I will not only share lots more life lessons, I will also teach you some great techniques to improve your confidence, resilience and happiness."
A big thank you to Gillian for guest blogging for us. Gillian will be bringing her expertise on mindset and confidence to Whalley & Rawtenstall at our events in April!